I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
