look no pants
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
