My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
