doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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