Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
