Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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