I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
