How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
