I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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