Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
