on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
