yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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