I got chris browned last night
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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