This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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