Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
