I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
