Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
