i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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