I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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