I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
