Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
