Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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