Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
