Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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