I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
