States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
