Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
