Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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