You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
