The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize