Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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