Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
