yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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