Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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