I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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