We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
