Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
