thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
this is an emotional support booty call
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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