Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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