is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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