in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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