when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
