his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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