you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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