Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
