if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She's JV to your varsity
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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