Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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