My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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