Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think my moral compass just broke
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