I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
