that's an acceptable place to lick
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
