I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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