a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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