Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
What happened to fro yo and sex?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
