so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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