i wish my penis had a tongue
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
